A Wake-up Call

while randomly browsing through magazines in a bookstore shelf, I've come across an article featuring an old colleague back in college. this is like the third article I've read about him in the past year. with all his accomplishments, i cant help but look back at what I've been doing in the past 5 years since i graduates college. i had a timeline which i delayed to give way to other possibilities. i wanted to see all of my options before heading to whichever career path I am to take. I said I'd give myself a year or two to decide.its been 5 years but im still in the same place. Of course I sort of had a rough sketch of my life in the next 5 years or so but that included someone who i really wanted to be with but it didnt work out so... now I'm back to square one with still, so many options, most of which pose a lot of more uncertainties and hardwork than before...

***   Whenever I hear of people I grew up with or met during my 'younger'Wyears, I feel happy that they are accomplishing a lot.I feel happy for them. It really is true what they said during my first week in UP. Looking around the classroom, I was probably sitting next to the class Valedictorians or the future legislators and maybe even the country's next president.  Here I am again feeling bad wishing i did more in the past. I felt exactly like I did during graduation in HS and in college when I wish I could have presented my parents with more than just a diploma (if only I wasnt so lazy.. if only i wasnt a brat.. if only...) But now, i really cant afford to procrastinate. I'll be 30 soon and many opportunities are just passing by. Most of the time, I feel like I'm making the most of my time. I mean Im learning a lot and taking part in so many projects. I'm also meeting a lot of people. I love my job but the uncertainty and undercompensation is becoming a problem. If I do get a regular post, I'd have to live with the fact that career growth will be slower than the melting of the ice in Antartica. My sense of fulfillment will rest solely on developing and implementing sustainable projects that will (hopefully) benefit the communities and organizations we work with and pushing through my advocacies. For now, I think I should pursue my Masters and PhD. But which area? and where? My resources are very limited so I cant afford to aim that high. Have i really decided to not work in the hospitality biz? That window of opportunity is slowly closing in.. *Sigh* the thought of living in an island,where people spend a lot of money just stay for a few days is temping..  I could go diving everyday f i want to...

But I know I'll miss the work that I do now.. The 'creative' freedom.. The sense of accomplishment when you finish a task.. Meeting industry experts and inspiring people..

What to do... what to do...